Chaos Isn’t Always Loud

A quiet reflection on overwhelm, and emotional steadiness as an adult.

---

This article is part of the Becoming You track, where we explore growing into the best version of yourself, because when you thrive, everything around you transforms.

---

All month, we’ve been exploring emotional regulation—not just for our children, but for ourselves.

We’ve talked about helping our children name their feelings, modelling calm, and using play as a tool for connection and balance.

Let’s delve more into us today.

Who holds space for the regulated adult?

Life doesn’t slow down.

It piles on.

Work demands, long to-do lists, unexpected curveballs.

The noise might not be loud, but it’s relentless.

Emotional regulation isn’t just something we teach—it’s something we have to practice.

Daily.

The Real Chaos We May Be Missing

Let’s be honest.

The chaos isn’t always children screaming or a house in disarray.

Sometimes it’s a quiet, creeping overwhelm.

A lingering mental fog.

The kind where everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time.

In those moments, I’ve found that awareness is my anchor.

I’m learning to pause.

To breathe.

To come back to myself before I spiral.

Not for anyone else.

But for me.

Because I matter, too.

It’s Not Always Loud - But It’s Always There

I’ve come to recognise that regulation doesn’t always look like deep meditation or spa days (though those are lovely).

It often looks like this:

• Closing the laptop and stretching for 2 minutes

• Stepping outside to feel the sun or the breeze

• Dancing in the kitchen while making tea

• Taking three intentional breaths between tasks

These are not luxury practices.

They are lifelines.

The stress doesn’t disappear.

But I return to it steadier. More present. More whole.

That’s the heart of emotional regulation.

It doesn’t erase the chaos, but it helps us breathe through it instead of breaking in it.

Regulated Adults Regulate the Atmosphere

You see, emotional regulation isn’t just a parenting tool.

• It’s leadership.

• It’s strength.

• It’s growth.

Being regulated doesn’t mean you’re never overwhelmed.

It means you know what to do when the storm begins to rise.

So, here’s to the regulated adult.

Not the flawless one.

The one who tries.

Who pauses.

Who begins again.

That’s who I’m becoming.

And maybe you are, too.

It’s a Journey, Not a Destination

There is no medal for being the calmest adult in the room.

But there is peace in knowing you are no longer held hostage by your emotions.

There is freedom in saying, “This is hard—and I need a pause.”

We model this not only for our children but for the little girl or boy we used

to be, who was often told to just “move on” or “be strong” without the tools to

feel first.

This is the gift of becoming:

Learning what we were never taught.

Practising what we are still learning.

And making space for growth, one pause at a time.

---

Over to You

• When was the last time you paused?

• What’s your go-to calm-down strategy when chaos creeps in?

• I’d love to hear from you—reply in the comments or share your own story.

Let’s learn together.

Stella ✨

---

And if you missed any of this month’s reflections on emotional regulation, here’s your recap:
📎 [Play Your Way to a Camer, Happier Child]
📎 [Your Child Isn’t Giving You a Hard Time - They’re Having One]
📎 [You’re Not Burnt Out. You’re Mentally Full]

---

Ready to go deeper? Join my premium community and unlock exclusive tools, behind-the-scenes lessons, and advanced resources to build emotional balance—inside and out. Let’s thrive together.