Play Your Way to a Calmer, Happier Child
Why “go play” is the emotional regulation tool you’re not using enough
This article is part of the Learning Safari track, where we turn ordinary moments into powerful learning adventures—helping you spark creativity and discovery in your child’s everyday world.
“Go Play.”
It’s what we tell kids when they’re restless, noisy, or simply “doing too much.”
But what if play isn’t just a distraction or a reward?
What if it’s a vital emotional regulation tool?
I didn’t always know this.
My Childhood: Play Came with Limits
I didn’t grow up with a lot of “free play” in the true sense of the word.
You know those kids who ran barefoot through the neighbourhood till the streetlights came on?
That wasn’t me.
My mum, protective and cautious, often said no to playing outside.
She feared I’d catch something—germs, bad habits or God-forbid—stranger danger.
So, most times, play stayed inside.
I grew up having more older cousins and visiting relatives around.
And we made the most of what we had.
Indoors, we had endless games: card games, table tennis, hand games, even football.
I was the youngest, and somehow, I was always the goalkeeper—probably because no one else wanted to stand in one spot!
But I didn’t mind.
I laughed, dove after the ball, and felt like a part of something.
But once in a while… we broke free.
My cousin (my ride-or-die) and I would sneak outside when Mum left for work.
Bikes, kites, chasing each other till we were dizzy.
Those were our golden hours.
Sure, we got caught sometimes.
But I swear, those stolen moments of freedom?
They were worth every scolding.
They lit something inside me.
Something I didn’t have a word for then.
I do now.
Joy.
The Memory that Lingers
I’m a parent now.
And guess what?
I barely remember the Math lessons I stressed over.
I couldn’t even tell you what outfits I wore for school picture days.
But I do remember the games.
The laughter.
How my body felt mid-dive trying to block a goal I never stood a chance of saving.
It’s not the lessons—they fade.
It’s the feelings—they stay.
That’s the magic of play.
And that’s why today, I make it intentional.
Play Is More Than Fun—It’s Emotional Regulation
Just the other day, we were working on a tough learning concept.
My daughter couldn’t get it.
Frustration kicked in. Fists clenched.
The stomp of defeat was coming...
So, I said,
“Let’s take a break.”
“Go play.”
Off she went—giggles, squeals, pretend races down the hallway.
Fifteen minutes later, she came back. Calm.
We opened the book again.
She got it.
Not because I pushed harder.
Not because I explained it better.
Because she reset.
Through play.
Try This: Build Play into Their Day (and Yours)
Pause the task, invite the play. When your child is overwhelmed, pause the task and let them move, laugh, run, or pretend. Their brain will return stronger.
Create a safe “YES” space. Make a space—indoor or outdoor—where the answer isn’t “no,” “not now,” or “don’t do that.” A space where messy is fine. Loud is fine. Spinning in circles till they fall over? Also, fine.
Play with them. Fully Present. Even five minutes of fully present play - No phones, No “uh-huh” while scrolling. Just you, in the game communicates love louder than words. It says: “I see you. I’m with you.” That hits different.
Full Circle
I didn’t get all the play I wanted as a child.
But I got enough to remember what it felt like.
To feel alive.
To feel free.
Now, as my daughters stomp around the living room in fairy wings, building castles out of couch cushions—I’m not just letting them play.
I’m protecting it.
I’m saying yes to magic.
To healing.
To nervous systems that know how to self-soothe before they explode.
Because play isn’t luxury.
It’s not “if there’s time after homework.”
It’s the lesson itself.
It’s how they process.
How they connect.
How they breathe.
And the more we make room for it,
The more we raise children who are not just smart, but balanced, joyful, and whole.
If this story resonated, share it.
Tag a parent who’s in the thick of it.
Tell someone who needs the reminder that play is the strategy, not the reward.
And more importantly…
Let yourself play, too.
You deserve that reset just as much as they do.
See you in the next one.
Stella 💛
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Thanks for sharing powerful insights of play as a Parent 👍🏽
Great post, we all need a break sometimes.