Your Child Isn’t Giving You a Hard Time—They’re Having One

And Here’s What to Do With That Truth

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This article is part of the Becoming You track, where we explore growing into the best version of yourself, because when you thrive, everything around you transforms.

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Ever felt so frustrated with your child that you honestly thought you were about to lose it?

Like, you might snap, say something you’ll regret, or maybe act in a way that doesn’t even remotely align with the parent you want to be?

If you're nodding right now, first of all, I hear you. I get it.

And I want you to know—you're NOT alone.

I’ve been there more times than I care to admit.

But here’s the thing:

Parenting isn’t about getting it perfect.

It’s about showing up, even when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and maybe just a little pissed off.

And if you’re looking for perfection?

Spoiler alert: It’s a myth.

Nobody, I don’t care how Zen they look on social media, has it all figured out.

This is about embracing that we’re all a work in progress.

And that’s not just okay—it’s real.

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Yes, There's Chaos... But, Oh, the Connection

Let’s talk about chaos for a second.

Those moments when it feels like the world is caving in on you.

The screaming, the mess, the emotional tidal wave crashing over you like a freakin’ storm.

It’s like nothing is going right, and everything feels impossible.

But... here’s the kicker:

Amidst all of that, there’s something that always remains.

Connection.

After the chaos—the raised voices, the tears, the frenzied frustration—what do we do?

We hug. We laugh. We love.

Why?

Because my child’s behaviour doesn’t define them. 

It’s an expression of a moment, not a reflection of who they are at their core.

I didn’t always get this.

I mean, who can blame me?

In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to see beyond the chaos and remind yourself that your child’s actions are not their identity.

But over time? I learned to embrace this truth:

My child is still my child.

And the connection between us?

That remains unshaken.

The Misbehaving Child Needs Your Love the Most

Now, here's where it really hit me:

The child who’s acting out?

The one who’s pushing every button, testing every limit?

They're often the one who needs your love the most.

I get it.

When my child would misbehave, my gut reaction was to fix it.

To correct them.

To restore order and peace, like yesterday.

But then something clicked.

It’s not about punishment.

It’s not about throwing a fit or trying to fix everything in a snap.

Misbehaviour often comes from a place of unmet emotional needs.

And when I stopped reacting with anger and frustration, that’s when things started changing for the better.

So, I started responding differently.

I chose to show up with connection instead.

Saying:

“I see you. I hear you. I love you.”

And yes, it’s hard sometimes.

But that’s where real growth occurs.

Not just in them, but in me.

Creating a Loving Home Amid the Chaos

Let’s talk about emotional intelligence for a second.

I’m not here to give you a lecture, but hear me out:

It’s about being the grown-up in the room (every pun intended) even when you're running on fumes.

Even when you're about to snap, or when your patience has already left the building.

It’s hard as hell, I won’t lie.

Kids are chaotic.

Life is chaotic.

We’re human, so yeah, we’re gonna mess up.

But the real secret?

You get to choose how you respond.

• You can choose connection over reaction.

• You can choose love over frustration.

• You can choose patience over conflict.

And that’s the foundation of a loving home.

Not perfection.

Not never having a meltdown.

But showing up every day, in the chaos, and choosing grace over guilt.

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The Bottom Line: Show Up. Love Hard. Repeat.

I’m not pretending I’ve got it all figured out.

Parenting is a rollercoaster.

One day, you're high on love and connection, and the next?

You're just praying for five minutes of peace.

But that’s okay.

What matters is that you keep going.

You keep choosing connection.

You keep choosing love, even when it feels impossible.

And that’s what’s going to build the foundation for your family.

It’s not the perfect moments—it’s the messy, real, raw ones.

The moments when you don’t get it right, but you still get up and show up.

So, if you're feeling like you're barely holding it together some days?

Trust me. You’re doing better than you think.

And I promise you, the connection you share with your child is worth every chaotic, exhausting second of it.

So,

Next time you’re in the chaos, remember:

The real magic happens when you choose connection over everything else.

Keep loving hard.

Stella ✨